Almost Fearless

Our Very Own Spanish Phone Line

Oh no the baby’s awake!

To get wifi in our home, we had to install a landline. I’m not exactly sure how that works, but right now for the first time in five years we have a local phone number that’s not a cell phone or skype. We’re like official.


No one calls us on the landline. I use it to call people for interviews occasionally or to talk to people in the States, like my editor (not for this blog, obviously), but it pretty rarely has incoming calls. I think like 5 people in the whole world know our number.

Yet, every day, that phone rings. And rings. And freaking rings. We started getting one or two calls a day, now it’s up to like six. And there’s no voice mail, they just keep ringing until the person gets sick of torturing us.

Inevitably the phone rings just as Stella is getting settled down. Normally if I’m up, I’ll just answer it and hang up quickly. But often I have to wave frantically at Drew, while holding Stella, who is usually either nursing to sleep or recently fell asleep and I mime-scream the words: “ANSWER THE PHONE! QUICK QUICK” while waving my one free hand wildly in the air.

Then Stella opens her eyes and I sit very still and watch her with baited breath as she slowly drifts back to sleep and meanwhile Drew is on the phone with someone, who knows who, squirming uncomfortably through the conversation.

“Uh… puedes hablar ingles?”

“No, okay… uh, Hernandez? no hay una persona aqui se llama Hernandez…”


And I’m in the background whisper-shouting at him: “DREW HANG UP THE PHONE, YOU CAN JUST HANG UP THE PHONE, IT’S OKAY…”

And Drew’s now deep into it, “Si somos de los estadios unidos, pero estamos viviendo aqui, en Mexico, uh como? uh….”

“No entiendo.”

“No se. Uh, Tenemos dos hijos.”


“Um, no one here is named Hernadez! Uh… We work online?”

(Still whisper-shouting) DREW OH MY GOD YOU ARE KILLING ME!

“Espera, que quieres…? I don’t know, my wife is a writer.”


“Ok. I have to … go.. ok.. bye.”

Drew hangs up. I’m shaking my head laughing. “What was that about?”

“I have NO idea.”

And we do this at least once a day.


Christine Gilbert

I’ve been dragging my husband around the world since 2008 always with the promise that, “Yes, Drew there will definitely be hammocks there.”



  • Haaa! I love, “My wife is a writer,” as if that explains EVERYTHING.

    Little Miss has the loveliest eyes <3

  • Ha! Sounds like something my boyfriend would do… he’s so polite, it kills me 🙂 So land lines are the same all over the world hey? The only people who call them are those you don’t want to talk to. Tell him to try the Seinfeld line: “What’s your number and I’ll call you back later at home. What? you don’t want me to call you at home? Now you know how I feel!” I’m also extremely excited I understood the Spanish. Woop!

  • We have a landline just for Internet too which we didn’t really use, so I no longer have a phone connected to it as I got so annoyed by telemarketers. I can recommend this solution!! 🙂

    • Ha! Well Drew’s spanish is definitely improving but he can’t understand anything people say over the phone, so it’s really kind of hilarious. He’s determined to learn though, so he keeps trying his best when someone calls!

  • Bahaha sounds like an entertaining dance trying to juggle a phone conversation in a foreign language and an almost-sleeping baby.

  • First, I want to say that you are doing a great job with your web site and congrats on moving to Mexico. My wife and I did the same about a year ago and have NO regrets. I just want to pass on some info that you should be aware of. And I hate to bring up the “Mexico” negativity, but, unfortunately , some things are real and we all have to be aware of it. And this can apply to anywhere in the world, but the phone scam is very alive and well in Mexico.
    There are several, but the more recent one, is where they call your home and make inquiries as to the names and details of your family. They also research you on the internet. They will then call a family member, usually parents, and will attempt to get some money out of them by claiming that you have either; been involved in a serious accident and need money to pay the ambulance transportation, you have been arrested and need money to get out of jail, or the worst one is that they have kidnapped you and will seek ransom money.
    I know of two people that this has happened to here in Lake Chapala. In one case the bad guys got some cash out of it.
    I am aware of these incidents occurring up North as well, so the U.S. is not immune. These phone scams are taking place of the old Nigerian internet email scam, if you recall. And, unfortunately, many elderly people fell for it, as they fall for this new method.
    So, FYI, please just hang up. Don’t even talk to them and educate your family and friends, especially elderly parents. Use code words to verify information. AND, NEVER give out your personal information to anyone over the phone.
    Sorry for the negative stuff. I wish life was all positive, fun and healthy, but, we will always have those people out there that will do anything to get what they want.
    So, be careful, happy travels, blessings and good health.

  • My grandpa worked from home – had an auto shop in a huge garage in his back yard. He would answer the phone, spend half an hour talking to someone, and when he hung up and grandma asked him who it was? Wrong number. 🙂 pretty sure he never gave out any personal info. They just talked about the weather and the news and stuff like that… LOL

    Your daughter is beautiful, too, btw!

  • I’m assuming you can’t turn the volume down on your phone so how about just unplugging it. you can plug it back in when you want to use it and no more calls to wake the baby!

    good luck!

  • Ha! This reminds me of the company cell phone I have for one of my boss’s random companies (he has like 23). It sits on the windowsill by my desk and rings about every 3 hours. It’s always either a telemarketer, someone with the wrong number (usually speaking Spanish), or nobody. I wish I knew how to make it stop!

  • For us phones are a nuisance, both mobile and immobile. Earlier we had to fight who must answer it, keep charging the battery, buying new sim cards and talking time. Then in Bali 7 years ago we forgot the phone to the bedroom table when we left our hotel. In the airport we noticed that it is missing and called the hotel. They replied that you have never been here in our hotel. Later that proved to be a blessing. Having no any phones helps to seize the moment, no more stress about losing it and no need to waste money for sim cards etc. We simply love our phonefree life.

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