This article is part of Love and Travel week on Almost Fearless as we turn October into Lovetober (cue Barry White music). We’re celebrating the release of Swept: Love with a Chance of Drowning by Torre DeRoche—a true story about how one girl confronted her deepest fears for love by jumping aboard a leaky sailboat for the adventure of a lifetime.
In this post, Kim Dinan shares her story of suddenly finding herself uphappy with the white picket dream. Kim and her husband Brian recently sold their house and all of their possessions. In June of 2012 they will be quitting their jobs and taking off to travel slowly around the world. Kim writes about their journey at So Many Places. Catch Kim on Twitter.
A Love Half Full – by Kim Dinan
In the winter of 2009 I reached the pinnacle of my unhappiness.
From the outside, my life looked great. I was married to a wonderful man, we owned a cute house in a fun neighborhood, and we both had well-paying jobs. We were young and on top of the world. We had enough money to take nice vacations and buy things we wanted.
We’d finally reached the place we’d been working for, but I wasn’t happy. I blamed my job for my unhappiness. I blamed the weather. Worst of all, I blamed my husband. I wondered: Why can’t he make me happy?
It got pretty bad. We talked about divorce. Brian wanted the car, I would keep the couch.
The thing was, I knew the source of my unhappiness and it wasn’t my marriage. Brian could grow wings and grant wishes, he could cough up gold coins, but it wouldn’t have made any difference.
Some people talk about callings, inner voices or personal legends. About the thing they were put on earth to do. Some people just know what it is that fills them up. I knew. And I was unhappy because I’d been ignoring that truth for so long that it now screamed inside my head: Kim, this is not what your life is for.
The truth was, I wanted to write for a living and I wanted to travel the world. I didn’t want a big house or kids or a fancy career. I wanted experiences and adventure. And because it was the thing that I wanted more than everything else, I was just too terrified to say it out loud.
I felt I had two options: Ignore the voice and live the rest of my life barely breathing, or listen to the voice regardless of the consequences.
I decided I had to listen.
I told Brian everything. I told him that my inner voice had become so loud that I just couldn’t ignore it anymore. I told him that I had no idea how to create the kind of life that I dreamed of but I had to try because my soul depended on it. And I told him no matter where this road led I hoped he would come with me. I loved him and I wanted him there.
And Brian said yes.
Since that time a million things have happened. We turned our life upside down and shook, let all of the little pieces fall out onto the ground.
On my blog So Many Places, I’m the one who tells the story, but Brian is the hero. I have been able to take big leaps because Brian’s love and faith in me gives me the courage to jump. When I fall, he falls with me, and it doesn’t hurt so bad.
I don’t know how you get blessed with love. I do know that the only way to receive love and return it in the way it deserves is to become who you are deep down inside. When you honor the voice inside of you, you allow yourself to show up full. Then, the love your partner gives you can make your cup run over.
If you’re looking for a gripping book to read, we recommend Swept: Love with a Chance of Drowning by Torre DeRoche. If you need some inspiration to take a big, scary leap, this is the book for you.
Get 10% off the ebook if you buy now through Almost Fearless (use the discount code LOVE at checkout).